Tormenting Tantrums

Mar 18, 2012

Around the 2 year age mark, you'll find your child giving in more and more to tantrums. These could be expressions of frustration at not being able to complete a task or simply as a way to gain attention. Once children are in this distressed state, they don't know how to manage it, because they haven't learned to do that yet and that's why they need your help to learn how to calm down. 

You need to first find out what has triggered the tantrum. It could be inconsistent behaviour on your part that leads to this tantrum - think about it - maybe on one trip to the market you bought your child a candy. the message your child got was I'll get a candy on every trip to the market. The next time you refuse, oh boy! you're in for a tantrum!!

When looking for triggers, observe the difficult times of day for your child - is he/she in a happier mood in the morning? Does he/she lose patience towards the end of the day? Make these times easier by anticipating your child's needs. Also, try and look at the situation from your child's point of view. What might seem like inconsequential to you may be like the end of the world for your child! 

If you child is not hungry, thirsty or unwell, the root cause of the tantrum needs to be addressed and the child reassured with a warm hug. However, sometimes just as we adults need to blow off steam, kids need to do it too! If that seems to be the case, make sure there is nothing around that could cause your child injury and stay close by until the tantrum blows over. 

Happy parenting!

Playpen Team

Developing Kindness in your Child

March 17, 2012.

Children have a  natural tendency to be kind - it's how we adults develop(or not)  this innate kindness in them that will guide their empathetic behaviour as they grow older. If you have a small child, you may have occasionally seen spontaneous kind behaviour in your child - maybe he or she tries to comfort a tearful friend or gives the pet dog a friendly hug. However, your child also has basic needs such as hunger that will override any "kind" behaviour if there is a need to choose. So, don't be surprised if he or she pushes another child to reach for the last apple in the bowl!

There's a lot you can do to gently veer your child towards being a caring individual. Cooperation is one aspect of  kindness and you could create situations where your child would have to be a team player. For instance, you could play board games. A good game depends on cooperation between players - but watch out for the sulk when your child begins to lose! 

Getting a pet is a great way for your child to shower his love and display considerate behaviour. Pets are totally dependent on us and require a lot of attention and care. A pet in the house could teach your child responsibility. 

Finally, explain consequences - tell you child that an act of kindness makes people happy, and that selfish behaviour causes unhappiness. Praise your child when you observe him or her making a spontaneous caring gesture - this will go a long way in reinforcing the behaviour. 

More in next!

Playpen Team